CK Lynn

This was pretty good, but it seemed like only a start, not a whole piece. The language is very nice (clatter instead of bang, is good) but I must say ...

I like this (it's kind of hard not to.) The only thing is that it could be longer. It's really hilarious :) :)

I really liked this. It's very different, and you can really feel the emotion. I just have a few nitpick things to say. 1) the lines that you wanted to ...

I get the meaning, but I wish you would have presented it in a more original way. This si something everyone's seen at least twice. It was a decent poem ...

This was good, but I don't get how the title has anything to do with the writing. I like the uncoinvential lyrics, though; they're all gaa-he-likes-me. You don't need to ...

The ryhmning really detracted from the rest of the poem, but it was good. I noticed a few spelling errors (told, not tolled, what is a ting?) . This would ...

The way you described love is really different here. Like "I am the patient , you are my dose", making this a good thing instead of the usual alcoholic/alcohol example. ...

I liked the individual lines, but all together it was-as you said-chaotic. There wasn't much that made sense. I kind of got the feeling that the narrator was thinking about ...

First, please capitalize your I's, even if it's just in a message on the top of the real post (pet peeve of mine). Second, this isn't really a poem. It's ...

I liked this, but there were a few things that bugged me. 1) All the exclamation points! Half of them are unneeded and just look silly! 2)I ryhmed, then it ...

This was good, but you never explain who the "you" is. A parent? A boyfriend? It would make more sense if you did. Also, I thought the ryhme detracted from ...

Umm... this could be good, but I never understood who these "they" were. Since the television was on, I'm guessing they were like celebrities/actors and the poem was about not ...

This was an interesting piece. The way you talked about the girl (am I right in thinking she's a recovering anerexic?) liked she almost missed those days was different. The ...

I really liked this. You never tell explictly who (or what) the second guy is, which is nice, but the story would be better if you were a little less ...

[quote]When I got home I told my dad all about it immediately[/quote] This is a little redundant. Maybe you could reword it. [quote]After all the problems I’d been having with ...